“She did what? “
“But didn’t you ask her why?”
“Hmmmm didn’t seem that way at all to me”
“Are you going anyway?”
“No I won’t say anything”
“I’m married not stupid”
“Yes, it’s ok”
“Yes, the unmarried ones will never get us”
“Carry a gloss for me, I can’t go home”
So much to say, such little time. I peered at that tiny piece of paper and thought, “a memo? That’s how I’d tell him I had always loved him?”
Braving myself up to this I scribbled in my neatest best,
“It was always you, will always be you.
He understood it, perfectly.
The sirens blared all around her, the smoke thick and dark.
It was too late now, but this was all she knew.
If control would have been a friend this would have never happened.
She now hated him as she had always loved him, limitless.
If only she could have budgeted either emotion, but alas.
“So how did you and my wife meet? “
“At a play, last year sometime.”
“oh yes, a monologue I guess.”
“really? She hates those. Wait aren’t you Anand? I thought you guys went to college together.”
“Oh! yes, yes that too. Ummmm I need another drink.”
He gulped. This was it. Finally.
Was years since she’d last seen him.
These visits took away so much from her each time.
He came for his entertainment, enrichment and hearts full of love and left.
All she did was file these moments away.
Who knew, some day she’d write it all out and have volumes selling in every bookstore.
It was the same routine as always,
A take away coffee, and a donut to eat here.
He waited for these 10 minutes every day.
As usual she looked up smiled at him and went back to licking her fingers.
The dream lived on, she would be his one day.
He only had to ask.
Let’s play a game you and I,
Hide and seek or maybe more.
Let’s hide behind our worlds of lies,
Some yours some mine and floating scores.
Let’s tie some strings of fragile lives,
These days that call our names.
Let’s fight through the bloody nights,
You I and the story untold?
At times we are just sleepless. Rested but sleepless.
Not awake no more but sleepless.
At times its being awake all the time.
I want to sleep, and know it was worth it.
Feel that the sleeping was done in time.
At times I want to let go of this fatigue, but my mind keeps tiring itself out.
At times it feels like all the time.
Little spurts of chilling winds,
Simple sparkly pools of water.
The world questioning your every move,
Let’s try to be a good friend, wife or daughter.
Laughing hard at not laughing at all,
Finding traces of newness alas.
Claiming rightfully what is deserving.
Hide your next move, the evil world is observing.
I walked through the doors and realized, this was it. Reality would be left behind very soon. It was not the company or the cacophony they came with, but rather where my mind was ready to go.
I meet people everyday, and everyday they bring into my life a new meaning to everything I seem to know. But today I have convinced myself that things are going to change. Not that I’m unhappy with the way life has been reading me recently but just, one at times feel that maybe, just maybe we need a change. The same old glasses, the same old drinks. And maybe also the same old stories. But today I need to change this. For me, for them too, or just because I can.
He’s talking in the corner. Telling us a tale of how he meet that pretty girl. She seems nice in this story. A simple girl, the same, the usual. Change it goddamit. We laugh, like we always do. We follow the rights like clockwork. But does this ever end? do we ever leave this accepted reality? I want to. Now? Yes. Forever? I don’t know. Things could change. But that’s what I was looking for any way right?
It’s my turn now to entertain the crowd to bring out my best set. Laughs win them over the most. But I have no happy story to tell. You know, a real story. Not one that just entertains you. But one, that means something.
When did I get this dark? When did I lose that light I supposedly always carried with me? But then again I guess, life changes us all. I changed, but then again that’s what I was going for, right?